I will be honest with you, I am not always the mushy kind of mamma that I would like to be. I know my children need love and attention because this is how they flourish and grow. But, sometimes I’m either not feeling the moment to hug or kiss, or I’m just too busy multi-tasking to keep up with our ever demanding schedule. That is when I forget to make time to show them some love. If this is happening to you, I suggest using words that express love instead. This can be done during the drive home from school or while the kids are finishing up their school work. Whether we are feeling the love or not, it’s important for children to hear that you notice them, appreciate them and love them. I have written down statements which I use to express my love for them. It may seem a bit staged to refer to a list of compliments but soon enough you’ll feel it becoming a habit. And, all of a sudden these sweet phrases will easily flow from your lips because you have stopped for a moment to notice all the wonderful things your child is capable of! SubhanAllah (Glory be to God).
Express your Love through Words
When it comes to making a positive difference in a child’s life and touching their heart, it’s the small but consistent personal attention you give to them. Try expressing one loving comment to your child each day.
- SubhanAllah, I can tell you really worked hard on that.
- I believe in you.
- You look really great today, mashaAllah (God Willed it).
- I’ll always be here for you, inshaAllah (If God wills).
- You have a kind heart, may Allah (God) reward you.
- I know you will do your best, inshaAllah.
- Your ideas are so interesting.
- I can tell how much you have improved.
- I know you can do it.
- Your choices matter to me.
- You make me smile, thank you!
- It’s always fun to do things with you.
- You’ve made me think of things in a completely new way, alhumdulillah (Thanks o God).
- You can learn from your mistakes.
- You can change your mind.
- Your actions are powerful.
- You really make a difference.
- Trust your instincts. Trust your heart.
- You are very creative, mashaAllah.
- My world is better with you in it, alhumduillah.
- I will do my best to keep you safe, inshaAllah.
- I miss you when we are apart.
- You are deserving.
- Thank you for helping me.
- I enjoy your wonderful company.
- Your questions are very thoughtful.
- I’m curious of what you think.
- You are LOVED!
So, go ahead print this list out or jot down a few that you like and refer to them the next time you’re with your sweetheart!
What if you are saying these nice statements and you still feel like your communication with your child is not where you want it to be. What then?
Express Words that will get your Child to Talk about his/her day
I love talking to my children. As a mom, it’s one of the relationships in which I know more (lol) – at least when they are young. I don’t have a problem talking to them. I struggle in knowing how to listen to them, in setting the comfortable atmosphere for them to open up and share their thoughts with me. This becomes more and more important as my children attend long hours of school. I care about them and want to know that their day went well. Just asking them how their day was is not enough. The only answer you get is “fine” or “good”. This doesn’t tell me much. How about presenting the question differently. Let’s ask specific questions about their day. Here are a few ways to ask your child about their day without saying “How was your day?”
- Who is the silliest person in class?
- When was the most boring time during your day?
- Where is the nicest place in the school?
- Tell me one good thing that happened to you today.
- What’s your favorite spot at recess?
- If you could begin a discussion in class. What would you talk about?
- Tell me something that was funny at school?
- Which of your teachers is cool? Why?
- What was the worst thing that happened today?
- Is there a kid in school you would like to get to know better?
I’ve tried these on my children and I must say, we end up having the most interesting conversation on our ride home. I learn things about them that otherwise would have missed altogether. I feel much more connected with them and it helps me get a glimpse of how their day went, alhumdulillah. Girls are more likely to share their day with you. So, this can be a great tool to have for boys who are not as talkative. It’s a silly and fun way to get them to open up. Give it a try and let us know how it goes, inshaAllah.